I remember the days when i was little , when i used to stand beside the glass-wall of our local arcade , and i used to watch people play . (Cause my dad wouldn't let me go in , he'd notice the cigar smoke smell on me instantly).Those days i perceived games as an world as is , with it's well-defined rules , with it's magic , with it's glory .. As any gamer should . As i did .. right until i was somewhere mid-college education , when i started reading books about game development and all the works behind the world .It was right then when my perception of the entire game-world changed . It lost it's magic .
It all became constants and variables interwined with methods and classes . Kinda like Neo first saw the matrix . All it's beauty and aesthetics vanished . Just like that. The world lost it's "immersiveness" . I no longer felt inside it any more , i no longer marveled at it's beauty . instead , i pondered upon question of how stuff is implemented , how much work this'll take to do this and blah , blah ... boring stuff.
I felt kinda like i lost my "gamer eyes", and in combination with the lack of free time , due to work , i was forced to change my hard-core gamer status , to casual.
Just recently i started working on a game as my master thesis (2d platformer , nothing fancy). As i was nearing till the end (which i found that's a moving target , i constantly find ways and ways to improve my game) , i presented my work to my favorite criticist - my girlfriend. She played the demo like , a minute or so , and as i watched her face while she was playing it , i saw myself from 15 years ago (yeah , i went to college like 10 years now). The awe in her stare , the hunger for excitement , for the New . Ah , at that moment , i felt glad .
I felt at peace .
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